jvantheterrible (jvantheterrible) wrote,
jvantheterrible
jvantheterrible

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RL SUX...

So I met this guy the other day, during the March Madness games. It's an upscale bar, and my fam and I were cheering Ohio State on - go Bux - and so this dude is sitting alone at the table next to ours. I am fairly (okay, perhaps scarily) outgoing (I work in MEDIA, i.e. RADIO, HELLOOO???!!!!), so we start chatting. FOR THREE HOURS he makes faces at me, cheers me on, tries to block my way as I head for the bathroom, etc...is this NOT flirting? HELLO??? Christ, 3 hours makes the last four years of non-dating feel like SECONDS!!! ANYWAY...it goes on and on, and so I give him my card before we leave. (BTW...Ohio State won..GO BUX AGAIN!!!)

Yesterday morning (Sun, 3/25/07) he calls. Says he's really sorry for being such a flirt, but he has issues...number one being that he thought my COUSIN was cute!!! HELLO??? FUCK YOU, anyone???? So I deal with that, and tell him, "whatever, dude...yeah, she's available but she just broke up w/her fiancee, so sorry, but..."

So he says, "Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Okay, so yeah, you ARE sorry, and..."

"Oh, and I live with my ex-girlfriend and I'm locked in to the lease for the next year, but I'm pretty much doing whatever I want right now..." (RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT>>>>>>)

"Okay, well, thanks for calling and have a nice day!" (Me, being the epitome of fucking sunshine that I am) He says yeah, and we go our separate ways.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Fast Forward to 7:52 AM THIS MORNING (3/26/07, MONDAY) and my work phone rings. I glance down. I think, "Oh no, he wouldn't fucking dare..."

He fucking dared. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry."

"Okay, you told me that yesterday when you phoned. Right after you told me my cousin was hot." (I could NOT make this shit up, I swear to you, I have a fucking BESTSELLER RIGHT HERE..."

"yeah, but I really do feel badly."

"Okay, look. I am GLAD you feel badly. You SHOULD feel badly. You called ME up -after flirting with me for roughly THREE HOURS the day before to tell me that you thought my cousin was cute? You made ME feel badly when you called and admitted that crap. So, good, I'm glad you feel badly."

<LONG PAUSE>

"Okay, but I've never been hit on by a woman before, and I just didn't know what to do..."

"Look...here it is, okay? You SHOULD feel badly. And if you go out, even if it's not so frequently, you should NOT be making eyes and/or hand gestures and/or googly eyes and/or any OTHER gestures at girls. PERIOD. And, if you weren't in the situation that you're currently IN, you would be a really lucky guy, okay? BUT, you're not, and so you have your life, and I have mine, and I am REALLY sorry that I bothered you with my number. So you have a nice day, okay?"

<LONGER PAUSE>

"Okay, you too...CLICK". 

So there are MY last 3 days. 

Thoughts? Comments? Like to build the crossbar that I might hang him from???? LMAO.
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  • 4 comments
Sounds like he's a wanker.
Let me translate.

He's a jerkoff.

Now you go make some toast. It'll cheer you up. Go for two slices.
Okay, well I'm at work and breadless, but I do have some scrumptious granola bars...so those will have to do. I'll crunch them gently, perhaps it'll give the same effect as toast???!!!

Thanks for the encouragement!

I just love your little bunnies!!! I just want to pick them up and kiss them and squish their cheeks (but gently) and rub them all over my face...but not in any sort of disturbing way. LMAO...